Holidays

I had two weeks holiday before my new semester re-open which is also the final semester for me. But within this two weeks holidays i didn't go anywhere, did nothing at all because i also don't know what to do. from the first day of holiday until also facing computer until late at night. Got a TV in the living room also didn't see whether nice movie to see, or nice programme to watch. I had already wasted my time for a week, what can i do for one more week? If i sitting down in the house for another week, is like locking myself in a cage, can't fly out especially at night. I seriously don't know what can i do.

Another thing is, next semester is my final semester, i don't know whether i'm scared to look forward or what because final semester is like facing biggest fear of all. I don't know whether i still can maintain the usually result or will drop, hopefully i can try my very best to finish this course of mine.

After finish this course, where will i work? Working with Astro? partner with my brother's friend? or going back to Pixel Post, my training place? or going to overseas to work? this is another hard time for me to think. A lot of people encourage me to go overseas to work IF i got the chance, but i'm still doubt of it because overseas exceptation is very high, must be very creative and all. But for me? i'm not good in creativity because my idea doesn't come often, my skill is not that good yet although my badge are the senior-est among the whole multimedia department. how good is my skill? how creative is my creativity? i still don't know until now and i'm already in final semester. What my badge did is way better than me, because of their concept, their design, their animation, their creativity is way ahead of me. How on earth can i compare with them? Can i still cope?

The more i'll think, the more upset i'll get, but it doesn't show on my face, on my expression.

hard

is very hard to see your love from a normal person, can walk, talk, eat and laugh, then enters the small and tight coffin, with the coat on, cover with blanket, then sealed under a glass with another cloth on top; then later close the coffin, enter the car, travel to that temple and enter hot fire by one click of a button.

once we reach around three something in the afternoon on the day after my grandfather past away
my tears drop off bit by bit from the first day until the last day when my grandfather enters the fire. all of us are here, even the one from Beijing and UK also rush here. it was a very sad things to happen so fast.

these few days i didn't get enough sleep, slept at 6 something, 7 something, 8 something in the morning. need to do prayers and all. everyday got 3 to 4 session of praying, each session at least half and hour, and within that half and hour, we are standing, walking around and on our knee on the TAR road.


P&C

FINALLY but HARD

after how many months didn't get enough of sleep, how mony hours i already wasted, how many trips imiss out. finally, i finish my semester 6 yesterday. now what i scared i'll re-sit my exam or taking back semester 6 because i scared i'll fail. -.-" god please help me in this.... -.-

basically 'FINALLY but HARD" is two different topic, but both of them are short and so recently, so i make it together.

anyway, have to ever feel that your close one slowly slip away. i felt down inside me but no expression of me shows that i'm down. yesterday one of my cousin's grandfather passed away around 5 something in the evening. today my granddad passed away around five something in the evening. althought i feel down, but my face got no expression.