I think that is what they mean by love.

Is been a very long time i didn't write anything on my blog. I had been very busy since i started working or i think i had been busy once after finish my diploma in multimedia design. There had been lots of things happen to me from the last time i wrote my blog until now. Lot of things to tell, but i don't know where to start, where to beginning. I'll just start recently topic for me.

Recently i feel that me, myself very un-stable, un-stable on everything of what i do; un-stable on everything of whats my brain is thinking of after that incident. I thought it was perfect but end up with a broken puzzle. I thought is a happy ending but end up is a misery for me. If i have the power to turn back time, i'll really will. To repair the mistake i make, to clear things out, to treasure more to what i have then.

Recalling from the day started, your graceful smile, your softly voice had been melted my heart away from the first day we met. I recall the wonderful things that we did together, the splendid time that we spend together, i will never ever forget it. Is my mistake to let you go, is my mistake that i didn't pull back. I really are madly deeply falling in love with you and i really wish not to let it go.

Recalling the time during clubs, recalling the times having monthly anniversaries, recalling the astro event we had been thru, recalling the time we had spend to much together, recalling the time we having holidays together. The more i recall, the more regret i am now. The more i recall, the more stupid i feel myself are.

Recently i saw some of the pictures, i feel so worried about her, my heart getting more pain and this is what i'm feeling from the day i lost that particular piece from my heart until now. Day by day, night by night, i kept thinking about her. The more i think about her, the more sour my heart is. I think that is what they mean by love. Feeling un-easy when your partner is not around with you, feeling very worried when your partner going out with friends even-dough you know her friends, feeling down when your partner having a problem, speeding all the way when your partner is in danger even-dough you don't know the way, feeling un-easy when your partner didn't call you, feeling happy yet joyful when your partner with you. feeling the warm when your partner hug you tightly and never let go.

I think that is what they mean by love.

i really treasure of what i have then but now is all gone. I really wish that i really can turn back time and change everything i done, everything i had cause, everything un-happy things i made. I really wish I can start all over again from the first day we start our path, start our journey. I really regret not pulling you back.

I wish I can cry,
I wish I can drunk,
But, I can't.
Every call I received,
Every message I received,
I hope was you.
I can't stop thinking about you!