Sunday, May 21, 2006
Holidays
Another thing is, next semester is my final semester, i don't know whether i'm scared to look forward or what because final semester is like facing biggest fear of all. I don't know whether i still can maintain the usually result or will drop, hopefully i can try my very best to finish this course of mine.
After finish this course, where will i work? Working with Astro? partner with my brother's friend? or going back to Pixel Post, my training place? or going to overseas to work? this is another hard time for me to think. A lot of people encourage me to go overseas to work IF i got the chance, but i'm still doubt of it because overseas exceptation is very high, must be very creative and all. But for me? i'm not good in creativity because my idea doesn't come often, my skill is not that good yet although my badge are the senior-est among the whole multimedia department. how good is my skill? how creative is my creativity? i still don't know until now and i'm already in final semester. What my badge did is way better than me, because of their concept, their design, their animation, their creativity is way ahead of me. How on earth can i compare with them? Can i still cope?
The more i'll think, the more upset i'll get, but it doesn't show on my face, on my expression.
Monday, May 15, 2006
hard
once we reach around three something in the afternoon on the day after my grandfather past away
my tears drop off bit by bit from the first day until the last day when my grandfather enters the fire. all of us are here, even the one from Beijing and UK also rush here. it was a very sad things to happen so fast.
these few days i didn't get enough sleep, slept at 6 something, 7 something, 8 something in the morning. need to do prayers and all. everyday got 3 to 4 session of praying, each session at least half and hour, and within that half and hour, we are standing, walking around and on our knee on the TAR road.
P&C
Thursday, May 11, 2006
FINALLY but HARD
basically 'FINALLY but HARD" is two different topic, but both of them are short and so recently, so i make it together.
anyway, have to ever feel that your close one slowly slip away. i felt down inside me but no expression of me shows that i'm down. yesterday one of my cousin's grandfather passed away around 5 something in the evening. today my granddad passed away around five something in the evening. althought i feel down, but my face got no expression.
Thursday, April 27, 2006
Few minutes of stupidity
today i did something stupid because of miscalculation.
i just reach home from college, the road were pack with lots of cars because primary school morning session after school. so i nicely open my main gate and drive my car into the car porch. i THOUGHT was okay but i miss judge my driving skill. the effect is, my car slowly hit my house's oldest cupboard ever in the world and my car got scratches and that cupboard broke two of the legs. and drop on the floor. and because of my miss calculation, the broom stick holder drop off one side, so in the end i have to hammer it back.
so, i nicely replace back the cupboard properly, went into my room and get change, and get down to do that holder. find a nail and a hammer and start hammering. the first few hit was okay, after that, i MISS calculate AGAIN and this time it hit my fingers. the middle finger bleed straight away and my second and my middle finger got internal bleeding as well.
and because of my MISCALCULATION, i have to suffer all of this. -.-"
and now i have to find a needle and pierce to get the blood out from my fingers. -.-"
Monday, April 10, 2006
Have you ever...
i got this feeling, which i don't dare to walk another step forward.
when you friend with that person, you scared you will like that person.
when you feel that you like that person, you scared to love that person.
when you feel that you love that person, you scared someday you will loose that person.
because of this few sentence, i dare not to walk a step forward.
and i'm trying as hard as i can take THAT step forward.
Friday, April 07, 2006
Bangsar, Castle
so as i said, we end up in bangsar castle. the cover charge was still the same as last time RM25 and me and Chian went up first to castle followed by Wern Jin, Von and, Juin. then we find a place to sit and started drinking. i can't drink much because a girl stopping me from drinking, as in after the second glass of chivas with coke, she only allowed me to drink coke and that's it. but once the girls went out dancing, i fill a glass with chivas on the rock, and when i want to start drinking, she came back and stop me from drinking chivas and she said that she's going to sit here beside me with me, if not, i'll be start drinking behind her back again. and fortunaly she stop me from drinking, if not i'll drunk.
after a while more, she pull me out into the dance floor and started dancing with her. she pusposely did that because she don't want me to drink and another thing is she know's i got some problem and need to release it. and as i see my friend is trying very hard to release her's too. as we dance, we are trying to help each other to release something which need to be release and never come back. anyway, i really enjoying myself because there's a very good friend with me, helping me to release my pain and i hope i can do the same to my friend. i don't know whether she enjoy or not.
the whole castle been quiet down because the DJ said that's police block all around bangsar. and because we are still in the "drunk" or "high" mode. we cannot drive back home just like that because once police block and sense the smell of alcoholic drink, by that time, we are in clock up already. so we sat down on a mamak stall right opposite castle and i buy the whole table.
one of us was drunk, two of us was high but not drunk, another two was tired. once we sat until 3 something in the morning, we started walking into the car and drive around bangsar trying to get away fromt the road block.
what i said to my friend from the beginning until the end was the truth. this is the only time i let it go because i don't have a guts to do so until that time but i can seriously tell my friend that what i tell my friend is when i'm fully awake and not drunk.
anyway, tonight was a very good remembrance for me and everyone else.i'll never forget today, tonight.
Thursday, April 06, 2006
Thank you my friends
This year's birthday i thought was the same as the olden days. but my thoughts are wrong, just now i realise, i got almost 10 testimonial, and around 15 smses, that is the most wishes i get from my friends among all these years. thanks to my junior Wai Lun, my god sister Yee Ling, my niece Chian Wuen, my cousin Melissa, and my friends Lai Yee, Mei Jin, Wai Ling, Joanna, Pui Ling, Pei Yan, Kha Liang for wishing me by smsing me. thanks to Kha Jie, Nicole Ngiam and Andre Law for messaging thru my friendster. thanks to Stephanie, DJ'E n K (know him from friendster), Libra (can't recall her name), Chih Shun, esther wong, Rebecca Bong, Kai Hsin, Caney, Nicole from friendster, Cerine and Yi Hua for wishing by typing testimonial to me. thanks to Wen Yi and Weng Hong for wishing me by calling me. thanks to Shu Wen and Soo Wei for wishing me on msn. thank you Rebecca Bong and Chun Yow for your card and also another one Angela for the lunch. and thanks to my friend James for your sms and your present. I thought you have forgoten my birthday. Finally is finish, if not will go on forever!!!
The most important i need to thanks to is Yi Chian for forgeting my birthday and planned a simple, small, but nice yet wonder birthday party in Sri Petaling ' Taste Walking ' just for me. thank you again to Yi Chian,Yi Juin, Yvonne Ng, Wern Jin, Raymond for attending, paying for my small but delicious cheese cake, and my ice blended mango. It was a very good surprise for me, because it was started with a dinner with my friends outside. but instant of having dinner with my friends, i had my dinner with my family then only join my friends. We tooks pictures together, and with some nice post too. tonight was an awesome night for me. thanks girls and guy too.there was a lack of few people but is in overseas, but i hope Sue Lynn was here celebrating together too. this year was the year that most people wishing happy birthday.
Anyway, this was the first time ever that i celebrate my birthday like this. although was a simple one but then it was a awesome night for me. and thanks again Yi Chian, Yvonne Ng and wern Jin telling me some breaking news and something funny stuff to me and some breaking news for me too. (^.^)
i really hope this moment with you all tonight can really last forever. but of course, the more, the better, and the more the marrier.
Wednesday, April 05, 2006
BLUR
I'm very blur right now, and i'm seriously very damn tired, had been stressed out, very tension because of that kind of package, i have to rush all my assignments and freelance jobs. these two days ago, because of this package, i done and still doing this package and i slept around 5.00am or 6.00am something early in the morning. i have to finish up all this assignments within this end of this month. there are one scrap book abour web banner, the reseach about director ridley scott, 50 scamps, a website, three press Ads, one TVC (TV commcercial), one expriemental movie called ' illegal street racing. why don't i get very stressful, very tension, very tired and very blur.
besides of rushing my assignments, there is freelance job too where i need to key out all the green screen from a shot. there are 51 shots for me to key out the green screen. the due date for this freelance job is this friday, 7 april and i still got 30 shots to go. the hardest part of keying this green screen is, how the director in that movie direct how the green looks like. this 51 shots which i'm doing now gave me a very hard time, because the director sucks. he ask his men to paint the wall with paip and air ventilation in green because this is a low budget movie. the green screen is not perfect green also; there are gradient green and also paip shadows on the so call green screen.
i also don't know whether i still be able and manage or to finish not only this freelance job and so is my assignments. i don't know even know whether my brain is still functioning right or not, because now i'm feeling very very tired, very very sleepy, and i'm having a little headache now as i'm typing this blog. i had use almosr two hours just to type this blog.
i think i really have to go already, if i stand like this longer, i think i wouldn't be able to wake up tomorrow and do website.
Friday, March 31, 2006
Q & A
My earliest memory...
i remembered was... That day was after primary afternoon session, sitting on the bus going back home, once the bus reach my house, i walk down the bus and as i walk a few steps, i accidentally step on a shattered bricks and i fell face down on the ground and my head hit another shattered pieces of bricks, when i got up, blood flows almost like water from my face until my school uniform. That time my mom was so scared and straight away called my dad and sent me to clinic, she's also afraid i might lost an eye because the blood cover up the whole of my one eye. Because of this incident, i stayed at home for a week and going to clinic three or four times in that week.
At school I...
usually talks a lot in the school, no matter primary school, secondary school or until in college now, i still talks a lot. And i was a hot tempered guy when i was in primary and was a very hot tempered in secondary school. But now, i already know how i control my feelings, my tempered and all.
My first relationship...
was quite a long time ago.
I wish I had never worn...
just only a swimming trunk with a few cloth on me for cat walk during 2005 graduation night in Pan Pasific Hotel because i'm the only guy who only wearing a swimming trunk and have to showspare tires out and my partner is the only girl which wears a bikini but with no spare tires. This is the differents.
My mother and father always tell me...
to try your best in everything, no matter what result you get is not important. In the end the, the most important one is how much you will be earning with you are working...
I wish I had...
more time to do all my assignments and freelance job, 24 hours is not enough for me to finish everything when the deadline is very near.
I wish I hadn't....
think too much about the past, think too much about my loses, makes me tension, stress, sad and very frust.
At home I cook...
little bit of western food, little bit of italian food, little bit of chinese food, but more to instant noodles...
When I was a child, I wanted to...
get me free from this cage, until now... i still wish that i could get out from this cage and survive..
The book that changed my life is...
currently and the past had that type of influences to influence me. Not even one yet..
If only I would...
get good grades for this course, to be more creavtive in thinking, use more of my right brain. Using un-comment commen sense to solve our problem.
Friends say that I am...
crazy
What I don't find amusing is...
call other people to chill, relax and drive slow...
but all indicate to me too.
I often wonder...
whether going off to overseas or not?
whether malaysia suits me or not?
whether is there any job for me in malaysia once i finish studying?
whether am i going on the right track?
whether is this course is what i want?
when i can start a relationship which can really last forever?
is this stress, tension, tired and frust should be in college life or university life?
I'm passing the baton to...
basically everyone who read this post, just copy and paste the questions to your blog.
Have a nice day everybody!! take care
Saturday, March 25, 2006
Pissed Off
The first thing was yesterday case, where me and my friend need to use the editing room from college, already inform my head lecturer about friday but then that idiotic guy has taken that editing room key and bringing them to lunch. And more that was 12pm NOT even 1pm. All lecturers and all stuffs' lunch time is 1pm until 2pm and he went for lunch from 12pm until 2pm. He should bring back the key to the office before he go for lunch and go for lunch. I'm already been pissed off, we need the editing room urgently because we need to edit a TVC urgently for the competition. At last we can't stand and went back home, Bloodly Idiotic SIVA is that guy's name.
The second thing was today for eveything, from the start, WE as multimedia design students shouldn't take illustration for this term and shouldn't take it thru out this course, thru out this two and a half years. I already ask the management and this they encourage us to take this subject for this term. Now we got DAMN a lot of assignments to do and rush because we cannot finish them in time!!!! because of one subject more and we are very lack of time, 24 hours is not even enough for us nowadays. Then this morning having this STUPID illustraion class again, the lecturer went crazy and called us to draw life sketching and finish them up within a certain time, which is 5, 3, and 2 minutes time using pencils. That is really darn crazy, is bloodly impossible to finish that within that time because we NOT A PRO...and that is what graphic design should do; NOT us from multimedia design!!! that is okay, FINE, after efw life sketches with pencils, that lecturer said we have to change out drawing materials which is from pencils change to chinese ink and brush. OKAY FINE, let it be, go on a while more, that stupid bloodly lecturer said we have to finish a life sketching within 3 minutes, with style only three lines and use chinese ink and brush to do gradient. THAT bloodly idiotic lecturer didn't EVEN teach us how to do what to do and straight away call us to draw, what kind on earth is this lecturer is? walking around with that nokia 3310 to time us and yet call all of us to redo everything and which we are lack of time!!!
Lastly, we are surpose to help our lecturer to paint green screen the whole day today and that bloodly illustration lecturer only gave us out at 1pm which is class finished, our own department lecturer was waiting for us like one two hours ago and he bought lunch for us, but this stupid bloodly idiotic illustration lecturer not allowed.